In this article, we will talk about the success rate of the no contact rule. The no-contact rule after separation is a proven psychological strategy used to get away from your ex, we were told. They say that if you quickly withdraw from your ex, take the time to deal with the breakup on your own, and allow yourself to really grieve, then the grief will be much easier to deal with. Also, talking to your ex-wife or ex-boyfriend certainly won`t help you get over it. So if you ask, « Doesn`t he contact work after a breakup? » most people will say yes. And you hope that opening the lines of communication will make them change their minds or feel how they felt about you. In this article, my intention is to pull the layers even further and show you why I believe the no-contact rule can do the things I describe in the video to victims. Contacting your ex first after he breaks up with you is a terrible idea. The reason for this is that he feels a variety of negative emotions towards you – most of them for which you are not responsible. So if you contact someone who doesn`t want to have anything to do with you, they`ll respond that way. Your case is just another example of what exes will do if you contact them and pretend that everything is fine (even if you don`t look needy and desperate). They have to process their emotions themselves, so you can`t reach.
Under no circumstances should you break contact until your ex is ready. You know he`s ready when he contacts you. When he contacts you, you can be sure that he is in a neutral state – unless he does so for another important reason – such as children, the death of a family member, etc. The reason coaches tell you to contact them is probably that they can give you advice. If they told you never to talk to your ex again, 1) it would be profitable for them and 2) it would make it difficult for you. Giving you hope is the worst thing they can do. If you break the rule and contact your ex the next day after both break up, you will seem desperate and in need. Psychotherapist Gopa Khan (Master of Counselling Psychology, M.Ed.), who specializes in marriage and family counseling, is here with us today to help us better understand the same thing. The benefits and psychology behind understanding « Doesn`t contact work after a breakup? » can be very interesting. So without further ado, let`s dive right away. I`m literally experiencing exactly the same thing. My ex didn`t even break up with me, he only asked for space because of stress, but never contacted me again.
This happened about 2 months ago now, I am currently in contact and have been for about 5 weeks. I can already feel an instinctive feeling that he misses me because we had a great relationship and the breakup came out of nowhere. I`m waiting until May to join him again, which can be a long time, but I think it`s worth it. So don`t worry, it will be easier. My husband couldn`t even break up with me via text message or face to face, men are very strange. I`m sure he won`t contact you after any contact! While the details of your situation depend on the facts and there is no single plan to get your ex back, no contact is a response to a breakup that has many success stories to support its use. Yes, she bent the rules a bit, but her approach was right and she didn`t beg him or force him back. Instead, she told him good luck and went on with her own life. Understand it. If none of you make any significant changes to you during the contactless period, there`s no chance it will work the second time. In this case, it helped Maria and her ex at the time to mature properly, understand what they want in their lives, and that a healthy relationship is about compromising and adapting to each other.
Note: I created a contactless calculator to find out the duration. This is called the SUMO (Shut Up, Make Opportunity) tool. Answer three questions, follow the steps and it will tell you how long you need to stay silent with your partner. […] If it blocks you for no apparent reason, it may just be trying to stop the constant contact, like your text messages. Don`t think too much, as he probably only enforced the no-contact rule. […] Fortunately, the no-contact rule is there to save face. My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years. We have a 1 year old child together and I am currently 12 weeks pregnant with him. I have a 7-year-old child from my previous marriage. My ex-husband never names his son, he`s hardly involved, I only see him trade custody a few times a year, so it`s really just my boyfriend and I and the kids. My friend was detained by immigration for 6 months.
I paid thousands for 2 lawyers for him, I regularly sent him mail and books, I paid our rent every month even though I didn`t live there – the children and I went to my parents` house because I needed childcare while I worked my butt – I spent almost $7,000 just on phone minutes during those 6 months. My friend won his case and was released and received a green card and a social network. After that, I took care of him for a month until he started working, including buying clothes. He started treating me badly. When he got angry, he lost control and told me in front of the children « F*** you, you want to be a bi*** ». All he does is complain about my eldest son every day and expect perfection from him, he pretends to harass him when I call or write to him, he loses patience with me, he complains that I do not meet his needs instead of understanding how sick I am with this pregnancy, he blames me for everything when he`s angry, goes out loud and yells at me outside, he literally went down the street to check if there was traffic when I got home, and he emptied the air from my tires to prove a point in the past. I gave him chances because I know some people need to learn how to manage a relationship, but after everything I`ve done for him. In the end, I went with the children to my parents` house, which I did about 4 times before, and I just have no contact. Before that, I always gave in and came home in 3-4 days, but I notice that nothing changes.
I love him and I left so that he could appreciate me and hopefully change me, but I know the chances are slim. When should I respond to him when he turns to me (not because of the children)? How much time should I give him that time? That`s why most of the success stories you read mention the crucial role NC played in helping her lover reconsider the decision to break up. .